Ring … Ring … Ring.
“Hey dude, I don’t know how to say this or want to phreak you out or anything, but I think you’ll want to know, I just finished my golf league and was golfing with HOT APA and HUH? APA (two assistant prosecuting attorneys) and NICE COURT REPORTER. On the second hole I got the question …
So, is Joe having a sex change?”
Apparently a few of the assistant prosecuting attorneys were talking about it earlier in the day and decided to ask OBP directly.
She said she denied knowledge of any such plans, but I’m not sure that her knowledge of my plans wasn’t conveyed in some other manner. The reaction alone to being surprised and caught off guard with such a question could message volumes.
Anyways, I’m definitely glad she told me of the conversation.
I have a pretty good idea how and why they figured it out, but that’s really neither here nor there. I mean, let’s be real … it’s not like I live in a shell. For not openly announcing my transsexualism even as yet …
I live a pretty nonchalant life in chica mode. I socialize, go to movies, go to the bookstore, go to the mall, go to the dry cleaners, go to the restaurants, go to the bars, go to the grocery store, go to plays, go to the library, go to the office, mow my yard … heck, I pretty much go everywhere except the courthouse as me. In the last week alone, I’ve had close encounters of the passing kind just running into three attorneys I know very well while I’ve been out and about.
So I’ve been preparing for the coming realization of others for a while now. Once I decided to try and figure out a way to staying here and not running away, I had to be anticipating it. And the rumors and talking are just an inevitable, expected resulting occurence. This really is novel stuff to talk about for a while. I’m guessing … a news cycle of two – four weeks. Hopefully it’s a little longer once people realize how phreaking kute I am !! 🙂 Yeah right.
Besides, I have felt others sort of figured it out for about a month or so … I could just feel things change in the interactions Joe had with some others at court on occasion.
And yesterday, the day after the golf gossip, of all things … I saw both HOT APA and HUH? APA in the same day. I probably haven’t had a case with either, nor seen them, in a year or so. But nooooooo … the very day AFTER I hear they are talking about me, I see both. Lovely.
Now HOT APA I consider a friendly acquiantance. We both started practicing law about the same time and have known each other since then. I think she’s an incredibly, incredibly nice person. She’s smart, great sense of humor and a lot of practical, realistic common sense. She does her job very well. I completely respect her professionally. In fact, had she called me up directly and asked me … I’d have answered her query honestly.
Now DUH? APA’s involvement in the discussion sorta surprises me … ’cause I really don’t know her that well. Maybe I’ve have had two, three cases with her total. I really didn’t even think she would remember who I was or know me it’s so infrequent (I don’t know how APA’s do it … even as a defense attorney on the other side of the fence … I respect how they manage dealing with their caseload and associated defense attorneys). Oh well, as I’ve said … it is good gossip material.
Now everyone seemed to fear I would totally phreak out about it … hearing that people were starting to talk. But I’m really not.
Not even close.
I honestly believe a lot of how other people will react to this is how I react to this … discuss it and handle it when approached.
If I was all freaked out about it, that would not convey a healthy message about either my condition nor the manner in which I was addressing it.
My position is pretty straight forward …
Yeah, I’m a transsexual. It sucks. I don’t like it one bit, but it’s just something I have to deal with.
If I could pass this condition to you and rid myself of it forever, I’d do it in a heartbeat. (Editor’s Note: I understand not all TS’s are of that opinion and certainly do not mean to speak for the group – I don’t do group-speak, this is just me talking about me.)
But I can’t. And I have to deal with it. So I am.
I understand it’s different and certainly something to talk about and that as a result some people will make jokes … heck, I make jokes … the irony of this when it comes to me is hilarious.
I also understand some people will ostracize me because of this … that’s fine. Their choice and loss.
But hey, live goes on.
As viewers here know …
I have been blessed with the most understanding and accepting of friends and family …
Which has given me tremendous security and will.
Anyone of any importance to me already knows this and is still in my life.
The reaction of bit players in my life isn’t really that critical. Of course I’d like it to be positive, because seriously, even the bit players in my life are really cool, fun people generally.
But if they are not … well, they’ll obviously never make the screenplay !:)
Nonetheless … knowing for a fact that at least there’s talk of it and people are finally nailing it sorta weirds me out … as it has seemed to generate a combination of emotions …
On one hand, it makes the perpetuation of the Joe myth feel all the more insincere …
Yet on the other hand it eliminates a distraction … wondering if they’ve figured it out … and just let’s me do my thing. Kewl.
I wasn’t distracted or impacted in the least yesterday afternoon when I was in court and while waiting my turn, caught several glances from a couple court personnel my way …
In fact, even though in Joe-mode, it made doing Joe’s thing easier.
While at the same time …
It amused me. (Granted, it doesn’t take much to amuse me. :P)
From the looks of things …
I guess it’s safe to say …
Game on …
Or at least,
Game is starting soon. 🙂
(On a side note, for those of you I know who are reading this site who think I don’t know you’re reading it, but I do …
And for those in my real life that have generally kept this secret for as long as you have remarkably well …
Please try to control the rumor mongering a bit longer … I understand it’s good, juicy stuff … hell, I’ll be talking it up with you soon enough, but please … a few more weeks of courteous restraint and then you can have a field day while also saying …”Yeah, I’ve known for a while now.” If you feel a desparate need to talk to someone about it …just call me. Gawd knows I love the attention !! 🙂 Thanks ! )
I can’t help but think you should’ve saved all this writing and made it into an amazing book. You’re giving all this great perspective, emotion, and knowledge away for free. See, maybe I’m not an angel. You could’ve been rich, famous, and ridiculously strong and beautiful…but then, you wouldn’t be the nerdy computer geek I love and respect so much. So fug that.
Ok, sweetie! I’ll take your advice and be judicious about where I wear it.
Let me know when it’s done!
I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so!
Now is the time. If 2 asked OBP, there are others who have reached the same conclusion-best to get on with life!
ROFLMAO It’s a hilarious episode and …
You win !!! That’s exactly where I plagerized the quote. As soon as Sister and I get off our butts and finish up the shirts … one will be on its way. Though just a warning … I’m really not sure it’ll be appropriate to be worn in public. 🙂
Q: “I love cake”…First viewer that can name the setting for that quote gets…
A: When Donna told Eric for the first time that she loved him, he said “I love cake!”
(from That ’70s Show, Episode 32 11/9/99 “I Love Cake“)
I agree Amy2 (gawd I love your name !! :)) … there’s nothing to gain with delay … you’re exactly right, delay only delays the time it can begin to become old news … and if approached and asked, I don’t intend to deny (who knows though what I’ll actually do when under the gun … I might just exclaim … “I love cake” (First viewer that can name the setting for that quote gets an UnUsual Suspects T-Shirt sponsored by AmyNews.com, assuming of course we ever make one instead of just talking about it over beers ! 🙂 )) … I would first like to get a few more matters wrapped up this week and next, but that might be out of my hands …
Yes, personally, I think I do a very poor job of passing as boy these days. There’s no doubt, if I’m getting an odd look from someone trying to figure me out, it’s when I’m in boy mode, not girl mode.
Guess what. I think the time to fess up is now. The longer they stay in the dark the longer it will be a topic of conversation. I strongly suspect you have a hard time passing in guy mode now except where the people already have formulated an opinion as to your gender long ago.
If they learn in a non-chanlant, Yeah I am fashion from you it will pass through the legal community in about 2 wks from the next bar meeting, continuing legal education event whatever gathers the heard togather. There will be slow learners over the next year and then it will become.. oh yeah she is the transexual gal that practices law.
The longer they are curious the bigger a piece of gossip it will be to pass around.
It ain’t like your going to change your mind in the next two weeks and your not going to come up with a closing that will make them all decide it is the only right thing to do so they are going to have srs too in support. What is gained by the delay but to increase the level you are gossipped about and the time before it can start to become “old news”.
Hope for the best for you counselor 😉
Mum’s the word. No, that’s not a PC phrase in your situation. lol Perhaps, silence is golden would be more appropriate. Hang on for the wild ride! I know I am.