Cinco De … Hooters

Now when it comes to dining at the restaurant establishment of Hooters …

I’ve always said …

I go there because of the food and service,

Not because of the tight tops or even tighter shorts worn by the waitresses.

Their hamburger is one of the best burgers you can get from a casual chain restaurant (trust me, I know … I’ve tried them all !!)

And I think their wings are great !!! (Try the new cajun seasoning, mmmmmm. And always spend the extra $1 per 10 wings to get drumsticks only.)

Now you’d think that by now,

After knowing my function,

Combined with the fact that I continue to go to Hooter’s for the food …

People would finally get it,

That I don’t go to Hooters to gawk at the women !!

Trust me, when I look at the women working there …

It’s not a look of desire,

It’s one of total and complete envy !! 🙂

But, they don’t …

And seemed to have a perverse curiousity as to whether or not I’ll go to Hooter’s as me.

So, it makes perfect sense,

In the whole irony of things …

And weirdness of my life,

That on my first day in the office chica,

We’d go on a fieldtrip to Hooter’s for lunch !!

Now proving that …

I’m a woman of my word, and

That I’m a really, really good sport,

I didn’t display any hesitancy in the least about the plans of going there for lunch on Wednesday.

Sure, it was going to be my first day office chica, but it’s not like I had been advertisting that that was going to be the case, I had simply told them that if we were going on Wednesday, it’d be me, not Joe going.

And it was a good week to go as it was only the boys in the office and me. OBP was on vacatioooon and she’s not a fan of the Hooter’s, so going when she can’t go works well.

But most importantly, it really made sense to go this week because …

We had a coupon !! YESSSSS !!

Buy 50 wings, get 50 wings free !!

Wow !!

Can’t pass on that deal. 🙂

Now there’s no question … there are some things I do, and have done, that should scare the living krap out of a me, racking my nerves to their frazzled ends … but for some reason, they don’t;

And there’s no question … there are some things I do, and have done, that shouldn’t scare me in the least, shouldn’t create any physical reaction other than a yawn … but for some reason, they do;

Finally there’s no question … whether I am nervous or not, whether I am scared or not, whether I am freaking out or not … usually, I don’t let it show. I’m pretty good at that.

So while it’s true … that some of the things I have done as me, should have scared the bejeebers out of me, yet didn’t …

Here I was doing preparing to do something fairly simple … walking into my own phreaking offices … and I was well aware of what I was going to do (that’s my way of saying I was nervous without saying I was nervous.)

I really had no reason to go into the office in the morning, before the Hooter’s trip, except to beg Shaft and Spuddy, to please, please, please try to think of what they were saying for a change, before they said it, and not to do something stupid like inadvertantly out me at Hooter’s because they called me Joe or used boy pronouns in reference to me. I know it’s not easy, and I know not everyone can have it down like The UnUsual Suspects, but in this case, conversation can be limited in some way as to avoid any reference to me while in the presence of others … say … a Hooter’s waitress.

I mean, they can pull that off couldn’t they … they could stop thinking about what they are going to do in the afternoon for an hour to exercise caution when talking … of course they can !!! 🙂

Yeah, right.

Though I desparately wanted that to be the case … I sure wasn’t banking on it !! 🙂

I figured I better make an in-person appeal to them before leaving … instead of just meeting them at Hooter’s.

So I trekked into the office in the AM …

And once there, didn’t waste any time talking to the boys.

First Shaft, who I had already spoken to on the phone about the issue,

And felt warranted to remind yet again.

Please, try to be careful for me. I’m fine going to Hooter’s, that’s nbd, but don’t call me Dude or He or Him. Please, for an hour, stop thinking about hockey so you’re not distracted when talking to/about me.

Stop beating my ass about it. I won’t do it on purpose.

True, but in some ways it could be considered reckless if you’re just not trying hard enough to avoid doing it. Negligent murder is still murder. Someone is still dead.

Yeah, yeah, right.

So then I move to Spuddy …

I’ve got to be back by 1:00 pm, I’ve got a lot to do this afternoon. Are we leaving soon?“, Spuddy exclaims.

Yeah, I’ll work Shaft to be sorta, kinda timely. Hey, please, please, please … be careful with the pronouns when we’re out. I know it’s hard, but try to be careful. Think before you speak. Generalities … they are good.

No problem Dude. I’ll be fine.

Again … yeah, right.

I then checked with Tenant to see if he was going with … to which he said and eager Yuhp !!

Wow !!!” He said.

Hey, this is the first time you’ve seen me in person, isn’t it?

Yes. It works, real well. Much better as a girl than as a guy. Your hair looks … wow.

Thanks. Now, when we get to Hooterville, will you please, please, please try to be careful in the pronouns you use referencing me.

Yeah, good point. I’ll try. It’s going to be hard.

I know, but I really do appreciate the effort.

No problem.

So having covered that … I got some work done until it was time to leave.

On a side note, apparently I had been in the office enough such that it really didn’t seem strange or weird or anything like that for be being there working. As is really the case in every other way, I really don’t think about how I’m presenting when I’m just being myself … I just be me.

Finally, it was time to leave …

Unfortunately, we let Shaft drive.

You see, he got a new penis

And his previous dangerous driving,

Has been taken to entirely new limits.

Standard Shaft Driving Procedure … Start out at 90 mph on the interstate and then lay on the horn blaring at the person who he deems to have made an improper lane change because they didn’t calculate that Shaft was approaching 100 mph and their lane change which would have been prudent if Shaft was driving say … 80 mph … inadvertently cut Shaft off since he was now going 105 mph. Do this two times between the office and Hooter’s. Regardless.

Honest to gawd, when Shaft drives … we do reverse shotgun … you actually call dibs on and prefer to sit in the back seat instead of the passenger seat. 🙂

Anyways, once we arrived at Hooter’s, and as we were entering the restaurant, I came to terms with the realization that the clowns with whom I was having lunch, despite my pleas of caution to refer to me in the proper gender, would totally screw it up.

They just didn’t have the adequate attention span nor place it as much of a priority as was needed.

So I wisely said …

Whoever screws up and refers to me as a guy in here has to buy me lunch.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Too easy.

And within 5 minutes …

I had a lunch from Spuddy, when he said to our waitress …

We’d like 50 wings and 50 free wings. He has a coupon,” while nodding in my direction.

Nice.

Shaft actually survived much longer since didn’t commence talking until he finished reading another story of a hockey player trying to kill someone. But as soon as he finished the article … I was nothing but “Dude“.

Great … two free lunches. 🙂

Now the references to me with boy words and pronouns, is a hard habit to break, I totally understand and appreciate that …

But just because I understand it, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make me feel very uncomfortable and self aware when people screw it up.

Most times you can just let it slide, move on the converstaion and make no reference of it …

And usually people don’t seem to think twice about it.

But this time …

Because Spuddy and Tenant were so stunned silent after he had slipped up so quickly,

Shaft was totally silent devouring his hockey article,

And I was retreiving the coupon from my purse …

There was an odd, very uncomfortable silence after Spuddy’s faux paus,

Which caught the attention of the waitress.

She wouldn’t have had any questions about me had the slip-up not occurred,

Because even with the slip-up,

She wasn’t sure … seeming inclined on just brushing it off.

But I was aware that in a manner of 10 minutes after the “he” reference …

A total of 5 Hooter girls had walked past our table taking a quick glance at me.

Great. *shrug*

Nothing I could really do about it …

And it sure as heck wasn’t like I was being read by the male customers there,

In fact, I loved the odds there … me and about 100 men,

Many of them were cute and business-y …

And I was the only chica customer in there at the time !!

That’s my kind of environment !! 🙂

I’m really not sure if the waitresses figured out my function or not,

In fact, I’m thinking they didn’t,

Concluding that I was just out for lunch with a bunch of doofuses.

But you never know.

All I do know is that it is one of the annoyances for me of being T and sticking it out around here.

When I’m outted,

Whether it’s intentional or accidental,

It’s usually in the hands of others.

I really don’t have any control over it.

And for a control-butt like myself,

That’s stressful !! 🙂

Anyways,

Going to Hooter’s with my boys was a blast.

Too fun ! 🙂

And the food was just as good as always.

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5 Comments

  1. When it comes to avoiding, making and defusing social blunders, straight men notoriously nincompoops.

  2. Aims, sweetie, you may well have been right to think the Hooters girls might have thought you were just out to lunch with doofuses. As you pass so well, they probably just think the boys were joking around. It sounds cool that the guys there were checking you out, too.

    Thanks for the comment on my blog, but I’m on tenterhooks waiting for the follow-up you promised me. Please don’t keep me in suspense 🙂

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