Amy … I Can’t Make It Out

I liked how I used to sign my old name …

My signature in the days of boy was great,

Totally illegible,

Yet distinctive.

People knew it was my signature,

Even though it looked nothing like the name Joe Hairdy.

(Feel free to infer what you want about my psyche from such a handwriting trait, there’s some really good stuff there ! :))

But lately I’ve been signing my new name a great deal …

And I’ve found I haven’t quite yet bonded with my signature.

I love how I sign Amy …

I’ve got two different ways,

Both are way kewl.

I’m kinda okay with my middle initial when I write it …

Though the whole M thing with the humps can kinda come out screwed up if I get carried away on the up and down rhythm of the pen,

But my last name …

Very weak.

It doesn’t flow with my signature.

And doesn’t seem like it fits.

Now don’t get me wrong,

I like my last name …

I just haven’t figured out a way to sign it yet with Amy-style,

You know …

Classy, distinctive, and memorable …

Not over the top, excessively girly or trashy.

Hey, a girl can be different from her signature, can’t she? πŸ™‚

Anyways, it’s something I’m going to want to keep in mind when interviewing potential future husbands …

I’m sorry, you know I adore you, but I’m going to have to say no … my research has proven that with your last name … it’s physically impossible for me to write the required two adjacent, cursive F’s together in an identical fashion … and the stress resulting from the persistent non-uniformity would just be too much for a relationship to bear.

Oh well, looks like I’ll never be an Amy Stauffer. *shrug* πŸ™‚

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14 Comments

  1. Well … I suppose it depends on Jonathan … if his crush on me is because he thinks of me as a male and finds the thought of gay sex with me arousing … he’s probably gay. If his crush on me is because he thinks of me as a female and the thought of penile and vaginal intercourse with me is arousing … he’s probably heterosexual. Regardless of how he thinks about having sex with me … he’s dreaming the impossible dream. πŸ™‚

    As far as whether transsexuals can marry? Yes, we can … but to whom sometimes depends on the state in which you live … in TX and KS, you can only marry a person of the opposite sex than the one listed on your original birth certificate … hence, a post-operative male-to-female transsexual (with operating vagina), if she was a lesbian and so chooses, can have a state sanctioned marriage to another female in those states. Other states allow post-operative transsexuals to obtain new birth certificates, reflective of their corrected anatomy, and transsexuals have been allowed to marry members of the opposite sex in those states, but that hasn’t appeared to be so much legally recognized, but more that it hasn’t been called to anyone’s attention who is predeposed to make a fuss. Some transsexuals are married before their transition and surgeries and remain married afterwards. So the answer is Yes, but to who depends on where … and that isn’t even totally certain. The U.S. Supreme Court has had the chance to make a ruling in a definitive way twice in recent years, but has declined to hear the cases both times. It’s very much related to all these various Defense of Marriage Acts in paranoid states (yes, I’m aware of the dual meaning there :)) … none of the statutes I’ve seen defines “male” or “female”, “man” or “woman”.

  2. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised, honestly. We’ve been wondering about him for quite awhile. Hmmm. Would having a crush on you make him gay? Can a T get married?

    It’s a confusing world we live in. Luckily there’s folks like me that have no shame in asking questions.

  3. Are you kidding ?? I love your site Geoffrey !

    You get nervous commenting on your site? LOL Heck, I’m offensive to everyone there in some way or another … I was scared to death !! πŸ™‚ Anyways, all your readers have been generally very nice ! Besides, I think Jonathan only calls me names to mask the secret crush he has on me ! πŸ™‚

    Thanks so much for visiting !!

    Editor’s Note: I don’t do politics here at AmyNews.com, but I read about politics a great deal (yeah, and you thought I only read Cosmo ! :P) Anyways, from my humble view, Skylark offers by far the most independent, open-minded, intelligent analysis and opinion from a more liberal perspective … all delivered with a bit of bluntness and edge. Geoffrey does the exact same from a more conservative angle. I consider both of them my own personal political professors … neither tells me what to think, but both make me think ! It’s good stuff ! πŸ™‚

  4. I didn’t know you read my site. I guess you must have run out of things to read.

    Takes guts to comment, though. Heck, even I get nervous commenting on my blog.

    Thanks.

  5. Okay … okay … super Amy props to both Hottie and Skipper for totally trumping my last name gag !! LOL It’s too late to change your name now Hottie, but remember … if I did … the alternative isn’t nearly as flattering !!

    Can we all sing “Old Spice” and “Baby Spice” sitting in a tree … πŸ™‚

    By the way, do you guys realize how long it too me to come up with a different last name that still fit the inference I was trying to make !! πŸ™‚

  6. i agree with hottie. the double p’s in skipper always screw me up too. that and everyone wants to know where barbie is…damn her!

  7. Interesting post…come to think of it, I do have trouble with the consecutive identical letters in my name… H-O-T-t-I-E….DAMN IT!! H-O-t-T-I-E…NEWMAN!!! H-O-T-T-t-I-E…S$#@…now I’m stuttering…H-O-T-I-E…OH F#@% IT!!..I’m changing my name.

  8. ROFLMAO Too true Si … too true !!

    I know !! Every time I get a page or phone call after 2:00 AM, the thought that you might be pranking me again ALWAYS crosses my mind !! LOL πŸ™‚

  9. Knowing your last name (yes, I know, in fact, I still have your cell #, remind me to phone you at 4 am sometime soon) I have to say, with a last name like that half the battle is against you going in….

    I mean, its not a name that screams classy streamlined noblesse, as much as we might hope, so dont be so hard on yourself!

  10. One of the important steps of selecting my name was how well my signature would flow. I sometime receive compliments on my signature, believe it or not.

  11. I practiced my signature a lot before I ever went full-time, knowing that I’d have to appear I’d been doing it all my life. Do it when you have spare time, and soon it will become second nature.

    But I do advise finding that way you want to do it first. I had done lots of practice on ‘girly’ writing and printing all my life. It was one way to let off some of the pressure over the years. I know it sounds kinda goofy, but it paid off!

    Hugzz,
    Lisa iMom

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