Monday Madness

The Friday Five were not available last Friday, so I decided to check around again on the memes list to see if there were any other memes I could use … unfortunately, nothing struck my fancy for Saturday, nor Sunday … and Monday’s are pretty lame too … but here’s some Monday Madness anyways.

1. Describe what you believe is a “good” driver.

A good driver is someone that is aware of their surroundings, drives defensively, yet confidently, such that they don’t slow down or impede traffic. A good driver gets where they want when they want, oftentimes driving in excess of the speed limit, but never puts themselves or others and risk. They also bring a high level of driving skill to the table, knowing the capabilities of their vehicle and themselves. My dad used to be the best driver I know, though his recent performance, or lack thereof, with his wheelchair has jeopardized that status. My brother is a good driver too, but the best driver I know is Singer. She doesn’t ride the brake, she doesn’t stop or start harshly, she makes good time whereever she goes, and you always feel safe when she’s doing the driving. She’s also the best damn parallel parker or backing in parker you will ever meet … she credits that to her days working at a car dealership.

2. Describe a “bad” driver (your opinion of course).

Well, really just the opposite as the first. A person who drives needlessly fast … passing on the right side of the road … or on the shoulder; who places themselves in the position where a careless other driver could cause them to have a serious accident. They are constantly speeding up and then slowing down, speeding up and slowing down, speeding up and slowing down. Though very skilled drivers and knowledgeable in the physics of motor vehicle operation, their over confidence in their driving ability is their weakness. Bouts of road rage have been known to occur. Shaft is the worst driver I know, he thinks he’s great, but I”m telling you … it’s darn right scary driving with him.

3. Which category do you fit in? Please back up your answer. Feel free to use examples!

Let’s just get the truth out on the table … pretty much no one lets me drive if they have any choice whatsoever. Singer always insists on driving, Shaft always insists on driving, OBP always insists on driving, Tenant always insists on driving. Ex used to let me drive, but it was out of marriage loyalty I think, not because she was comfortable with it. Oh sure … Miss Daisy would let me drive, but he’d let anyone drive.

However, but for two minor accidents (one my fault and one not) and a series of speeding tickets a long time ago, I have a spotless record … currently no points on my license. *knocking on wood* A fact that most people who ever ride with me would never believe. Why do people hate me driving, well,

First of all, I multitask when I’m driving … I’m talking on the phone, eating food, drinking coffee, changing CDs, switching XM satellite radio stations …

Secondly, I know little about the physics of vehicle operation or a car’s maintenance … Do you turn into the slide or out of the slide? Do you brake into the turn or out of the turn? Is the OIL light really important? Heck if I know …

But … what bothers people the most about my driving is that …

I use The Force to drive. Seriously, when you multitask like I do, you really need to use The Force, which means I speed up quickly, change lanes sharply, frequently look like I’m not paying attention and often drive with my knees. I will admit it … sometimes riding when I’m driving is like riding on a rollercoaster.