Disclosure – Golf Snob

During the end of my last conversation with Dr. 172,

He reaffirmed that if I wanted to golf at the outting this year, not only was he fine with it and thinks everyone else would be too …

But that he’d like me to go.

Wow … do I have great friends or what? 🙂

However ….

He also said that I needed to call Golf Snob, because he’s sort of the organizer of the event …

And unfortunately Dr. 172 had been speaking with Golf Snob the day before and joked that maybe I was having a sex change operation (he apologized for the joke, saying that he’d have never said it had he known it to been true. Of course, there was no need to apologize, it was funny and I was laughing just thinking about the fun one could have with this.)

Sooooo … I called Golf Snob.

And told him my function …

Which obviously he didn’t believe at first …

Asking if it was April Fool’s Day.

However, it really did kinda feel like he was torn between considering believing it and not wanting to say anything insensitive …

And wanting to tell me I’m full of krap and that I’d need to do better than that.

He opted for the latter, and

Accused me of being in cahoots with Tiger and Dr. 172 …

Just spinning a story.

“You’re going to need to go into more detail than that before I buy it,” he said, mistakenly overconfident.

So of course … I accommodated,

Providing enough confirming explanation that within 5 minutes he was muttering …

“I believe you, I believe you ! You don’t have to go into any more detail if you don’t want.”

Hmmm … maybe he was more like whimpering. 🙂

“I don’t mind, I’m used to it … unless, you don’t want to hear any more?” I snickered in reply.

“Ah, so it’s getting kinda easy to talk about, huh? No, no … I don’t need any more. I’ve heard plenty. Ummm, uhhhh … so, you’re saying you’d like to still golf?”

“Sure, yes. Though I understand if anyone has an issue with it. I wouldn’t come if that’s the case, but by the time the golf outting rolls around, I’ll be chica.”

“What?”

“By the time the golf outting rolls around, I’ll be a girl.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, we can always get you your own room.”

“Don’t worry about logistics like that, I’m fine as long as I have my own bed, trust me, if any of you butts try to touch me, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Ouch … my head … it’s going to explode,” he cried, while laughing. It was a really weird combination of sounds.

“Well, I’m fine either way. Sorry to blow up your day like this.”

And then after a bunch of laughter … he muttered an instant, classic line …

“Can a golf outting get any more complicated?”

ROFLMAO

Seriously, I think that surpasses the previous all-time best Disclosure response lines of “Geezuz, I thought you were going to tell me you were ordering a mail order bride, not that you were going to be one,” Spuddy and “If ‘Dude Looks Like A Lady’ starts playing on the jukebox, I’m going to lose it,” Hottie.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I think everyone will be okay with it except for Tow Truck, I don’t know how he’ll take it.”

“I know. I don’t know him that well. It’s not like you can exclude him if he’s uncomfortable with it this year, he’s the one doing all the legwork for gawd’s sake.”

“Yeah, it’d be kinda rude to let him make all the arrangements and accommodations and then say we don’t need him because Hairdy’s going to be playing instead ……………………. as a WOMAN !” LOL

“‘zactly.”

“Well, I say you should still plan on playing anyways.”

“I will, I appreciate that, but if it doesn’t work out, I understand.”

“You know, there’s a lot of really good jokes here.”

“Trust me, I know. That’s why you should want me there period … we’d finally have some new material after years of just repeating the same old funny stories. They are good stories of course, but come on … this is really good stuff.”

“Gawd, it’s been a really weird day. Are you okay? Do you have a support group there? People helping you out?”

“Yeah, I’ve been lucky. You know Shaft (they know him as John Candy), Hottie and Baked Apple, they’ve been super. And then the rest of my crew … they’ve all been great. Like I said, I’ve been lucky.”

“Is it going to screw up your job?”

“Yeah, it’s certainly interrupting it, and I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do yet, but I’m probably going to continue practicing law in some capacity.”

“Wow, this has been a really weird day.”

“You’re starting to repeat yourself.”

“Huh?”

““Nevermind. You have to admit, it was a good excuse for not being able to golf this year, wasn’t it?”

“It’s more than an excuse, I’m not sure what it is, but yes, it’s really good ! ” 🙂 LOL

… and we wrapped up the telephone conversation.

Now obviously, Golf Snob is a really kewl guy.

For being totally caught off guard the way I caught him off guard,

He handled the news amazingly well,

With Respect …

Friendship …

Bewilderment …

And most importantly,

Laughs.

However, I do think he might have reservations about me golfing this year with them.

Not so much because I’m transsexual …

I think he’ll be come around with that once he sees me,

Gets to know me,

Again.

In fact, it actually might be a good thing for me to meet up with them for drinks sometime a few months/weeks before the golf outting,

Ease the nerves in that respect.

But anyways,

No …

I think he might have reservations about me golfing with them because he really is a Golf Snob.

When it comes to Golf Snob,

Think Thurston Howell III in the body of David Letterman.

A very well fed David Letterman.

“These greens are in terrible condition. Every third blade is bent incorrectly. How can I ever get a true read? This is intolerable. What are those hackers doing on the course? What is this … lowest common denominator golf? What’s the club house, a bowling alley? You can’t do that, that’s not in the rules. Golf without rules is what … what … what … volleyball? Can I have some quiet around here? Lovey, lovey … where’s Gilligan? I need another coconut martini.”

He’s been tried and convicted.

So in many ways, I can just hear him now … analyzing how this will impact his opportunity to have a fulfilling golf experience. 🙂

“We’ve never had women before, it’ll take longer on the course having to stop for two different set of tees. You know how I hate to wait. Besides, she’ll always be late, I mean, she was late as a guy, we were always waiting for Joe, you know it’ll be worse as a woman. Accommodations, what will be do about accommodations? Am I going to have to sleep on a couch? I need a bed for my back, how can I golf with a sore back? I need my A-game. Swearing, what about swearing? … Do I have to suddenly watch my language because she’s around? That could throw off my gojo (golfing mojo). Does she still drink? Does she still smoke cigars? Will she bring cigars? There are a lot of things to consider here.”

Yeah … I can just hear it.

When it comes to golf …

It’s All About Golf Snob. 🙂

Anyways, this Disclosure was another first …

I think it was the first time that …

At the moment they actually comprehended what I was telling them …

A person’s head blew up !! 🙂

Wild.

I hope he’ll be okay. 🙂

Oh well.

Thanks for being so kewl Golf Snob !! 🙂

Just don’t blame me everytime you miss a putt.