In-Box Deposits

I returned to my office late afternoon …

And found some e-mail and paper mail that after reading left me more than a bit reflective.

In my in-box were a few dozen e-mail exchanges from my college buddies that I used to go golfing with each summer … it was same same exchange as always … arguing about what weekend would work … mocking and taunting those claiming their wive’s wouldn’t let them go … rehashing one-liners from days gone past … I’ve never missed one of these annual golf outtings.

And in my snail mail box was a request for me to judge a mock t rial tournament … the tournament is an annual exercise where high school students try a case on a set of facts given to them in advance … it’s a program Singer actually got me involved in about 5 – 6 years ago … and something I’ve done annually since.

I have really enjoyed both events.

And both events require a response … commitment for participation.

The tournament needs an immediate response and the golf outting requires at a minimum a sincere commitment.

So … I’ve got to decide how to handle each …

As far as the tournament goes … I can’t judge it this year in girl mode … too many people I know that don’t know my function will be there … not to mention … my name is not yet legally changed so my bar card still is boy … as a result … I’m going to have to pass this year. I’m at the stage now where I’ve just reduced significantly the number of occasions I’d present in boy still (I’ll expand on that in another post) … and I’m not about to start adding again.

Bummer.

And then there is the golf outting. I haven’t told any of those dear butts 🙂 … and could easily keep it a secret longer … interacting only with them via e-mail and phone. Though obviously, I could only do that if I didn’t go … because … well … by the time June rolls around … not only will I be full-time by months … I’ll be a bit more busty. 🙂

That collection of friends … known as The Clique … has pretty much equal representation of both girls and boys … but the golf outting … is solely for the boys.

I had originally planned on just disappearing from that element of my life. It’d be fairly easy to do … just don’t return phone calls or e-mails. We’ve lost people in the past that way. But I’m not inclined to do it that way now.

As far as the make-up of the group of guys go … it’s pretty varied … from the most liberal of liberal to a fairly conservative, religious philosophy. Over the years I have become familiar with a few of their viewpoints on the topic of homosexuality … and am fairly confident that I would not be welcomed back unanimously once my information is shared.

Now … since whether I just quietly disappear or tell them my function … I won’t be golfing with them … do I really need to tell them?

Hmmmm … no, I don’t.

But I think I’m going to anyways …

The information will spread like wildfire in the group … and I won’t do it just yet … but still, they are friends from my life … much more than just casual acquiantances … each was at my wedding to Ex … and we all have a long history together … some of my fondest memories are with these people.

Not only do they deserve to know … but I deserve not to have to keep my secret from them.

But … for now … until I tell them … I’m not responding to their e-mail … I’ve got some time … because they assume I’ll be there …. as they’ve already mentioned in the exchanges … Hairdy can make any weekend, he’s always in, of course he’ll be late, but he always shows and brings beer and cigars. Besides, Ron, you owe him money from that bet you welched on to him last year … he’ll show to collect.

Heh … who knows, maybe I’ll still show to collect the money !! lol 🙂