Cutting The Line

As more and more people have learned about my transsexualism …

Though disclosure is still controlled in many ways,

I’ve found my awareness heightened as to people’s behavior towards me … attitude … actions …

To try and see if it’s changed because of their knowledge of my function.

However, not everything is about my transsexualism.

People can be jerks and bitches towards me just as they can be to you …

Not because of any prejudices or biases …

But just because they are jerks and bitches.

And sometimes … there’s a combination of both …

Prejudices about my transsexualism combined with simply being a bitch towards me.

I try not to let it get to me …

And I try not to involve my friends in the problem whatever it is …

Because I know for a fact in the current situation krap about me is being spewed forth and there is griping non-stop about all of my “failings”.

I so want to engage …

Challenge her selfish, petulent attitude and views about me …

See her faced with the choice of deciding whether to admit, in the presence of others, that she’s lying to and misleading others about my representations to her …

Or perpetuate that lie by stating to me, in the presence of the people she’s talking to, that what she’s telling them about me is true …

She’s speaking out of both sides of her mouth.

And talking about me behind my back.

But forcing that confrontation does nothing positive, good or useful …

And only puts my friends in an uncomfortable position …

Most likely forced to choose who to believe.

I don’t do that to my friends.

But I honestly can’t take much more.

My patience is at its end …

My tolerance has expired.

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13 Comments

  1. It’s unfortunate that you’ve found my site when such a post had been recently published, but the level of griping about me should make it no surpise that my feelings have been hurt and I’ve tired of it … as I would venture your feelings were hurt reading my post … and for that I apologize. It wasn’t meant to hurt your feelings, but simply to acknowledge I’m done … finish my punch list of projects for everyone at the office and remove myself from the situation … there’s plenty of people that bitch and have problems with me just because of what I now represent … I don’t need to put myself in a situation where I cause my friends (and I do consider you a friend) to gripe and bitch about me too. I disagree with your denial of griping/bitching behind my back, but that’s neither here nor there, I have never suggested you disclosed my information without my consent and knowledge … and have appreciated and continue to appreciate that … I hope we can talk with one another and definitely that our business relatiooooonship can continue while I wean myself out and who knows, maybe back in at some point.

    And this dear viewers … is one of the dangers of reality journaling … 🙂

  2. Amy,
    I was pleased to finally find your website, but astounded to read this post and learn your true feelings/thoughts about me. I’ve always considered you to be not just a law partner but also a friend. I’ve respected you and held your disclosure in confidence.
    None of my “gripes” (which have all been conveyed to you first hand NOT behind your back) have anything whatsoever to do with your transsexualism. Your characterizations are entirely unfair.
    I may not have communicated it effectively, but I do support you. Hopefully our business relationship has not been irreparably harmed by our apparent inability to communicate.
    Best Wishes.

  3. Well … first of all … I’m definitely not talking about you !!! Though second of all … you still need to fix the hole you punched in my wall … And lastly, I can smell you a mile away … what did you have for dinner?

  4. All right, so I admit that Amy is bitching about me. What can I do but beg forgiveness? Wait…. wasn’t this the post about somone passing gas in Amy’s office? Oops. Nevermind.

  5. Mario’s, Julio’s, Antonio’s, Sergio’s, Radicchios…. No wait, lettuce leaf out that last one. 🙂

  6. Or maybe I should just let you nuts make me laugh myself outta the frustratioooon !! 🙂 Funny stuff ! Thanks ! 🙂

    I always start with nice :), but there are just some people on which nice is just wasted … or too much harm ensures while waiting for the nice to work.

    The options in my mind are for me just to remove myself from the setting … talk once again … or just figure out ways not to let it irritate me.

    I got some good advice from Singer, which added with the wisdom in these comments, has helped wonders !! 🙂 Thanks !

    Not only that, but now I know why my car never got fixed when I was taking it to Mario’s garage, why I lost my shirt to Chicago Louie and the cause of my headache Thursday morning ! 🙂

  7. But Makenna, firing her is probably the worst thing to do. It would not improve her attitude toward Amy and other TS people, but would probably result in a legal action for unfair dismissal. FWIW, my golden rule is to try always to be better than people who are mean to me; by being nice to them, so that perhaps they feel ashamed enough to think again about the way they’re treating me. Love trumps all hands.

  8. Three(of many)rules I live by:

    1) Only do shots of Jager with Red Bull, or some Citrusy substitute…never solo!!
    2) Never play cards with anyone with the first name of a city!!
    3) Only deal with 2-faced people when watching Tommy Lee Jones in Batman.
    Solution: Put Shaft on the case…and disgust her to death!

  9. you really don’t need advice,
    i just like to quote chief joseph:
    It is very easy to pick up the rifle,
    yet very hard to put it down.

    Your calm, prudent wisdom is commendable.
    Yet sometimes,
    you just have to put out a fire
    before anyone gets burned…

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