Boiling Point of Acceptance
So … there are the Stages of Grief (Denial, Anger/Resentment, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) … oft discussed here and on many other pages … which have been terribly important for me to keep in mind during my whole Disclosure experience …
But what I’m finding interesting is how progression from one stage to another seems to occur pertaining to my transition … specifically … the journey to Acceptance.
Right now … I have several people in my life who are tenuously nearing that leap to the Acceptance stage … and being the incredibly cool people that they are, as I tend to only hang out with such – hehe š … when they test drive the Acceptance stage … they are incredibly cool to me … and some of the sweetest, most supportive things in the world are said to me …
“Just wish there was something I could do to help you.”
“Instead of thinking of what you are leaving behind think about what you have to gain.”
“[Y]ou’ve been very successful pretending all these years. Just imagine how great you will be being yourself.”
“Here’s the one rule, you aren’t allowed to find a man before me ! š”
“It’ll be nice, really nice.”
And then moments later it’ll be …
“You’re going to hate it.”
“You have no appreciation for what people are going to say about you.”
“How about just taking the hormones?”
And then moments later it’ll be …
“I don’t care what you do, I want you to stay.”
“You deserve to choose for yourself for a change.”
“Let yourself be happy !”
And then …. the cycle continues again.
It’s sorta reminds of how water starts to boil …
A few bubbles here …
Then it subsides …
A few more there …
Regression again …
Then a few more everywhere at the same time …
Until it gradually reaches the boiling point …
And there are bubbles everywhere.
Except instead of water bubbles,
I have sparks of acceptance.
A few here …
Regression.
A few there …
Regression again.
It’s pretty interesting. But it was also a bit challenging for me. Because just as I was getting all excited that finally … they got it … I get tossed a set back … but barely before I can dwell on my set back … I’d be given encouragement that they want to be supportive.
It took me a while to understand that’s what is happening. They are making movements towards Acceptance. They will be there eventually. I’m very hopeful. Though I doubt it won’t be until a fair amount of time has passed after I’ve been fulltime … but regardless, I view it as incredibly positive behavior.
And a sign that there will be sparks of Acceptance boiling over someday.
meanwhile,
it’s fun to step back from myself
and see this same process
happening to me…
of course,
i’m hopping from step to step
like a spirograph
(you DO remember spirographs, don’t you?)
just your warm and bubbly personality…
:p