Are You Buckled Up?

Today’s topic … Why I Stopped Wearing a Seatbelt.

Stupid, I know. Utterly stupid.

And it’s totally an easy way to see in what can of mood I am.

How I’m feeling.

I stopped regularly wearing a seatbelt when I stopped fearing death.

It’s sort of a … I just don’t care anymore … if you want me, I’m not going to make it harder for you … attitude

For me … it’s been that way for a few years now … off and on.

And it’s not ever an accidental case of belt non-fastening: I don’t ever just forget to wear my seatbelt.

Though uncomfortable at times, I also don’t just choose not to wear my seatbelt for that reason.

Sometimes … I just don’t give a rip.

Though I don’t want to die, and I don’t place myself in situations where the odds of such dramatically increase, sometimes … my energy to fight for life gets weakened and I don’t have the internal, personal motivation to even want to buckle up.

Right now … I’m about 50/50.

Half the time I wear it, half the time I don’t.

Now I suspect, that when this stage of my transition has passed, when I’m at a point in my life where the surgeries are done, the purging of family and friends who want nothing to do with me complete, and when I’m just being me …

That the burning desire to live will return.

Along with the fear of death …

And along me wearing my seatbelt all the time.

And that is … another reason why I’m doing this ! 🙂

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7 Comments

  1. your chances of death
    (when NOT wearing your seat belt)
    are not so great as your chances of
    disabling or
    disfiguring injury–
    if you’re going to spend a fortune
    on ffs, PROTECT YOUR FUCKING INVESTMENT, DAMMIT!

  2. Wear the seatbelt. I’ve ridden with you. If you die in a car accident, your life will end in a state of unrealized potential. And I will be pissed.

  3. Well, I wear the seatbelt because I hate that little ticket and fine that you have to pay if they catch you. And, baby, they want to catch you in my state!

    But, also, I wear it not because I don’t think my driving is safe. No, it’s that unseen idiot who would get me thrown out of my own car, and under the wheels of some semi that I wear a setbelt.

    Daughter Amy, I would hope you would think about that last reason. I want you to stay around for a while! (and you just NEVER know where the idiots will come from!)

  4. I wasn’t afraid of death before I transitioned. Death would have been an easy way out of a life that was hell. Transition gave me a life worth living. My turning point wasn’t SRS, it was living as myself, without any pretense of being a man. The rest was gravy.

    Life is good. I always wear my seatbelt – not because I fear death, but because I enjoy life.

    YMMV.

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