Saturday Morning Fun

At 5:30 am I check my e-mail … and notice an e-mail from Dad … so I open it up … and it’s a picture of the post 9-11 World Trade Center site with some inspirational words …

Hmmm, that’s odd, Dad has NEVER sent me an attachment before. Krap, today is Saturday, I just dorked myself with a virus.

Double dork, it came from Dad, and Mom had called me on Wednesday asking me to install some virus protection software on his laptop before Saturday and I said I would … and obviously … I didn’t.


So I check the distribution list … oh great, copies of it went to me, Bro, my uncles, my aunts, my dad’s cousins, my dad’s friends, my dad’s stock brokers … awwww krap, and to my mom’s sister (my aunt for those of you with your hands full) 😛

Well, I’m not concerned about any of the recipients, except for my Aunt … ’cause she’ll tell my mom, and then Mom will definitely know I didn’t get the virus protection software installed … hmmm, my Aunt isn’t tech-friendly, she uses it and all, but my cousin sets it all up for her … so I start to formulate a plan …

Call my cousin in D.C., ask him to work his mom (my aunt) through the corrective process, offer a misdirection on how the virus got on her machine … and then I’ll do cover-up on my end … Mom will never know.

Naaaa … way too much work … I’ll just fess up … it’s easier. 🙂

So I call Mom at 7:00 a.m. (ahhh, yeah, I woke her up) and told her what I think happened, she takes it well, and confirms that Dad didn’t send any e-mails out the night before, especially with any attachments, “He wouldn’t know how” she says. Since I’m going to be in the office Saturday morning she said they would bring his computer to me and I could fix what needed to be fixed.

Sounds like a good idea.

So … they bring the computer to me office and I hook it up and Dad says …

Oh, by the way, I sent you that e-mail last night.

And I’m like … “Huh?

Yeah, I liked it, and it came from my cousin who said that his virus protection software is solid so I figured it was safe and decided to see if I could forward it on to others.

Mom said you didn’t send anything.

Well, in case you didn’t know, I usually don’t ask her permission before I send e-mail.”

Let me get this straight … for the first time in your life, you decide to try to send an attachment with your e-mail to an assortment of people you know made up of family, friends and business associates … on the very day that there’s an alert out for a new virus hit?

Well, I didn’t do it intentionally, it was totally coincidental. But now that you put it that way … I think it’s pretty funny !“, he replied in the mist of his laughter.

Well, yeah, it is. But now that you’re here, I may as well install some virus protection software on your machine.

So I start to install some virus protection software on Dad’s machine …

And while we’re waiting, I give them a copy of Jenny Finney Boylan’s book She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders.

Dad says he’ll read it, but still wants to talk to someone, a professional, and I say no problem, I’m lining it up, but that for what it’s worth, this book contains good descriptions of what it has been like for me growing up with this condition.

Then as they are leaving, Mom sees some clothes laying on a chair in my office that I had brought in to change into later …

Shorts“, she says, “You never wear shorts.

Yes I do“, I answer with a grin. Well, maybe it was more of a smirk.

And they continue to walk outta our offices … when Mom stops, turns and looks at my Dad and me … and says … in a tone filled with generous quantities of irritation …

Wait, Amy wears shorts, doesn’t she? Those were Amy’s shorts.

Well, yeah,” I answered in a totally “Duh” sort of way.

Mom just turned to leave and didn’t say anything else.

Dad just laughed … well, actually, he didn’t laugh until Mom had turned the corner so she couldn’t see, but I’m pretty sure she heard …

Hey, she’s your wife.” I stated.

Yeah, but she’s your mom,” He answered with amusement and a grin, obviously finding entertainment in the fact that there’s some battles I must fight on my own, as there’s only so much he can do.

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  1. And Amy is you, and you are Joe Hairdy …
    and its all parts of the same person …
    When you transition, you’ll still have memories of all the stuff you did before you “shifted”, still have knowledge of friends and lovers and experiences from back then, and they’ll still be memories of you. Transition isn’t the challenge, not really – once you go through it you’ll see that. Integrating all of that is the real challenge …

  2. i hate it when i’m right…


    i should indulge myself with an inchoate rant,
    but i’m not up to it right now…
    but you LIKE my rants…

    has polarizing male/female aspects of ourselves
    EVER done anything for anybody
    but make us seem even more wacko
    than we already seem?

    oh, no, mom,
    i’m not insane or anything like that,
    i just share my body with a woman,
    and, really,
    she pretends to be me,
    and that’s why i talk about myself
    as if i were somebody else,
    and make it soooo easy for you to forget
    that i’m still your child…

    maybe there’s something i missed,
    some really good reason for
    inducing a dissociative identity disorder
    in a perfectly healthy and normal person…
    (and i’m not mad at amy or joe,
    just the goofy shrink who had this idea)

  3. this is one of the many things
    i dislike about a dichotomous presentation;
    your mother does not see Amy as you,
    but as a body-snatcher
    stealing and LITERALLY alienating her son…

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