Iā€™m Nutz

Personally … I don’t think so. I don’t think I’m crazy in the least. I don’t think I’m nuts. I don’t think I’m the victim of brainwashing. I don’t think I’ve been entrenched into accepting the beliefs of a cult. I don’t think my decisions have been made because of the misdirection of some evil doing, whacko shrinks and doctors.

But you know what I’m experiencing now … now that my seriousness with Option 1 is gradually being accepted ??

With the exceptiooon of Shaft, my family apparently thinks I am all of the above.

Because you know … it’s in my character to be rash and haste in my decisions. To fully embrance any cause or proposition that incidently meanders into my path. To leap first, look later. To do things just because I know it’ll disappoint and hurt my family and friends.

Yeah, that’s me.

Whatever.

(I know it’s just their way of dealing, and I’m calming working with them, discussing, talking and in some cases, going along with, their thoughts and requests, but still, it amazes me how stupid I’ve suddenly become.)

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10 Comments

  1. From Amy’s second blog entry, August 2002:

    “Mom’s in sort of denial and doesn’t really talk much about it.”

    It seems to me the odds are, she won’t get past denial until it’s a fait accompli.

    Faites vos jeux?

  2. Amy, here’s another long comment for you!

    Actually, I’m going to quote something I found that backs up some of my thoughts on what’s going on with your parents/family, and what SHOULD be going on:

    =================================

    The 5 Stages of Grief were defined by Elsabeth Kubler-Ross In her book “On Death and Dying”, Macmillan Publishing Company, 1969. She presents 5 stages terminally ill persons may go through upon learning of their terminal illness. She presents them as “an attempt to summarize what we have learned from our dying patients in terms of coping mechanisms at the time of a terminal illness”.

    Significant grief responses which go unresolved can lead to mental, physical, and sociological problems and contribute to family dysfunction across generations.

    So, are the 5 Stages without value? Not if they are used as originally intended, as The 5 Stages of Receiving Catastrophic News. One can even extrapolate to The 5 Stages of Coping With Trauma. Death need not be involved.
    As an example, apply the 5 stages to a traumatic event most all of us have experienced: The Dead Battery! You’re going to be late to work so you rush out to your car, place the key in the ignition and turn it on. You hear nothing but a grind; the battery is dead.

    1. DENIAL — What’s the first thing you do? You try to start it again! And again. You may check to make sure the radio, heater, lights, etc. are off and then…, try again.

    2. ANGER — “%$@^##& car!”, “I should have junked you years ago.” Did you slam your hand on the steering wheel? I have. “I should just leave you out in the rain and let you rust.”

    3. BARGAINING — (realizing that you’re going to be late for work)…, “Oh please car, if you will just start one more time I promise I’ll buy you a brand new battery, get a tune up, new tires, belts and hoses, and keep you in perfect working condition.

    4. DEPRESSION — “Oh God, what am I going to do. I’m going to be late for work. I give up. My job is at risk and I don’t really care any more. What’s the use”.

    5. ACCEPTANCE —“Ok. It’s dead. Guess I had better call the Auto Club or find another way to work. Time to get on with my day; I’ll deal with this later.”

    This is not a trivial example. In fact, we all go through this process numerous times a day. A dead battery, the loss of a parking space, a wrong number, the loss of a pet, a job, a move to another city, an overdrawn bank account, etc. Things to remember are:
    Any Change Of Circum- stance can cause us to go through this process.

  3. Geezuz Si !! Warn me before you’re going to make me laugh like that … I shot Frozen Coke all over the place !! ROFLMAO šŸ™‚

  4. True … I guess I can sort of get why guys can’t understand anyone not wanting their penis … ’cause to guys, I know, it’s the most important thing in the world to them. Which though not conclusive, I certainly find it an indicator of some sorts that I don’t give a rip about mine. What is surprising me is how it seems I apparently know mainly women who are miserable being women, as practically none can imagine why I would “want” to be a woman. Difference between red-green? I don’t know … good questiooooon ! šŸ™‚

  5. I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!

    *sigh*

    but yodette pretty much has it
    in a synoptic gospel…

    this whole TS thing is beyond most people’s
    ability to imagine–
    few man can imagine not wanting a prick,
    and few woman can imagine CHOOSING to live
    as a woman…

    has anyone ever explained the difference
    between red and green well enough
    for you to understand?

    well enough for you to know
    one from the other?

  6. all I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    “don’t you just love karma!” Payback, beeaatch for all those damned tables and lists you made us wade through! Haha!

    *hugs*

  7. Not about you sugar. It’s about denial, avoidance and the desparate desire to maintain the status quo. Painful to watch a parent struggle with change like a fish on a hook, isn’t it, and not pretty.

    I’m hoping your Mom passes through her stages of grief and emerges with acceptance. Some parents would rather cut the bond than face the new reality.

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