Book Review – She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders

I read Jenny Finney Boylan’s lastest book, She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders, last night … and I mean … I read the entire book.

I purchased it around 8:00 p.m., started reading it around 9:00 p.m. (after Big Brother, of course 😉 ) … read until midnight, slept for an hour, read until 3:00 a.m., slept for two hours, woke-up and finished it around 7:00 a.m. (It’s only 300 pages and is an easy read style … I’m a slow reader.)

Why did I read it with such hunger? Because …

It was more analogous to my life than other other transsexual memoir I’ve ever read. Her knowledge of her issue at a young age, her skill at keeping it secret, her concern for not disappointing her family, her games and lies played in her mind to help her privately cope, her purges, her search for love as a “cure” … all managed while she remained an open, caring, loyal, optimistic and successful person throughout her maintenance of a male persona.

I know, it’s pretty much the story for all of us … but …

So many of her growing up experiences … were completely the same as mine … that it hit struck a cord chord right away … to think, I thought I was the only space traveler to discover girl planet 🙂

I think it’s bound to freak some of my friends and family out … when they read and ask if I ever did that, if I ever thought that, if I ever felt that … and I answer yes, yes, yes.

Though the one significant difference for me in my experience thus far and Jenny’s is that she was married and had two children … and remains with her partner to this day as they raise their children. The book explores the impact on both nicely … and the support through the pain.

Jenny even has her own Shaft equivalent … though he wasn’t nearly as supportive nor understanding as my Shaft has been from the very moment of Disclosure.

For me … it was a wonderful read. I recommend it. I’m buying several copies … and giving one to Shaft, Mom and Dad, Bro, Singer, and Ex. 🙂 What’s cool is that Singer was the one that mentioned I should read it.

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  1. hmmm…
    i’m going to be thinking all day
    about “hit a cord”
    “strike a chord”

    the latter is a common figure of speech,
    suggesting resonance,
    perhaps even deja vu…

    the former is fingers talking,
    and may be more accurate
    of what’s really going on,

    it ran smack into something
    that’s holding you back…

    i’m immeasurably envious
    of those TSs who have such
    understanding, accepting, TRULY LOVING spouses…

  2. A slight correction on phraseology:

    “hit a cord”

    should be

    “strike a chord”

    That’s your English Lesson from Ms. Pagent for today!

    (who is going off to read her copy of She’s Not There)

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