So ?? Whatcha’ Goin’ Do?

I have no idea how this post is going to end …. remember …. one of the primary purposes of is to give me a forum for working out my thoughts, feelings and options pertaining to my transsexualism …. like how the Decision episodes helped me arrive at the decision.

Now that we are into the Implementation phase of the series ….. I’ve got a bunch of mini-decisions to work through …..

Some I have already made and will bring you up to speed with at a later point …..

Some I haven’t made, but have some time before needing to do so ….

And some …. require that a decision be made …. soon.

And this is one of them …..

I feel myself facing sort of a quandry ….

I can’t transition into the female role in my current employment situation. Why? Well …. one, I eat what I kill. That’s the way it works here. My income is entirely dependent on the work that I can bring in the door. I get the work I get now because of Joe Hairdy’s reputation. I won’t get the work if I’m not Joe Hairdy. Doesn’t mean I’m not as just, but I just won’t get the biz, we all know that. I can probably build it back up over time, but …. that takes time !! Plus, I simply don’t want to have to deal with the whole transitioning in front of lots and lots of people who know me issue.

But ….. I don’t want to get a new job, or interview for a new job, until after I’ve had my FFS. Why? Well …. because I think first impressions are important …. that first picture is going to burn your look, your presentation into somebody’s image of you …. and that’s hard to change. The people that know me as Joe Hairdy and then see me as Amy, see in a lot of ways …. Joe Hairdy still ….. the people that knew me first as Amy and then see me in Joe Hairdy mood …. see Amy in drab …. that’s just the way it is. Since I’m going to have to change jobs in some fashion, I don’t want my future employer/fellow employee’s to see me first as Joe Hairdy.

And … I had always planned on transitioning full-time when I had my FFS. However, it’ll take me three to six months to land an attorney gig once I’ve had ffs. That’s too long to go without working and I want some practice working as a woman before I get fulltime into an attorney gig.

So I need to figure out what I’m going to do employment-wise immediately after my ffs.

Some Options —

Shaft wants me to keep working here, but unfortunately, I’m not capable of doing that, at least full-time. I know I’ll sustain a significant reduction in my referrals once full time. Though I’ll miss it like crazy, ’cause we’ve built a heckuva fun place to work. So maybe I could figure out something where I could work at my firm in a reduced manner on sort of a part-time basis in Amy-mode while I search for more permanent employment. The benefit of that is it would allow me to retain my work freedom while I search for a new job.

I could try to find some contract attorney work until I find a full time attorney job. Probably a more reliable source of work once I get some assignments, but the down side is it impacts my ability to search for permanent emplyment as it reduces my control over my work schedule.

I could get a job as a legal secretary to get some practice while I search for a full time attorney job. Plenty of jobs to obtain in this arena, but once again, it impacts my ability to search for permanent emplyment as it reduces my control over my work schedule.

I might be able to delay going full time immediately after my ffs, continuing working in boy mode, but be able to interview and job search in Amy-mode. If I could pull of working in boy-mode after ffs, this wouldn’t be a bad option as it would allow me to keep my flexible work schedule and have the opportunity to interview in Amy-mode.

Hmmmm ….. I’ll have to think about it some more.

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  1. oo-oo!
    i saw a card that made me think of
    you and shaft
    supportive, comfortable and close to my heart.

    i’m still amazed at how drunk i get
    from a 22oz bottle of beer…
    i love estrogen…

  2. Yeah …. okay …. I know …. Shaft sounds all soft and sweet and supportive here in these posts …. but let me tell you ….. he’s also like that in real life. 🙂

    Oh …. he also belches, passes gas, scratches, and picks things he shouldn’t be picking in public …. but hey …. whatcha goin’ do? 🙂

  3. I think I’ve been clear all along that I’m trying to balance my desire to keep my best friend right here and and also recognize her wishes and concerns. Amy is right that her client base would take a hit. The firm client base would likely take a hit as well. My position is f- anyone who has a problem with it. We don’t need them as clients. I strongly believe that good people who do good work will attract good clients. If I’m wrong, it won’t be the first time. I would rather fail with my friend than succeed without her.

  4. Hey …. there’s nothing wrong with a pizza shop …. I’ve been telling Shaft we need to open one up …. just because we don’t have any experience in the pizza business …. it’s never stopped us in our nutty endeavors before !!

  5. i couldn’t possibly be utterly nutty
    if i tell you to listen to shaft,
    could i?

    i wish i could be of some help on this,
    but i’m an abject failure,

    Emily drives cab and delivers pizza…
    i hope you can do better IRL

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