I Don’t Like Funks
Wow …. my funk continues ….. so odd …. I hate being in a funk …. just feels so outta sorts …. and so not me …..
I sucked in court today ….. not that I did a bad job or anything ….. I performed my role of keeping the streets filled with crime ….. in fact, got everyone back on the streets today ….. and 2 out of 3 think I’m a god (that’s lowercase …. not like the big guy …. more like a minor Roman deity) ….. and fortunately I did my magic behind the scenes …. ’cause my extemporaneous skills today were horrendous …. half-way into number 2 …. as I was rambling in a dysfunctional manner ….. I just started cutting myself off …… just didn’t have it today on the speaking front ….. the less said the better.
So why am I outta sorts still ???
Hard to say …. I think my post yesterday said most of the reasons ….
I really had a lousy time at bowling last night …. I know it’s only my own feelings or perceptions …. but I don’t feel part of the group anymore …. (hmmm, remind me to write about Bowling Survivor ! lol) ….. I was very quiet …. didn’t say much at all ….. NO @#$& !! Me … quiet !! ‘ways …. Singer wanted to know why I was so quiet …. said I’ve been like that the past few weeks …. she’s right ….. I have ….. I so feel like an outsider now …. strange …. anywho ….. she presses me ….
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar”
“Thanks for asking though.”
“Of course, but you’re supposed to share what’s bothering you.”
“I’m know ….. but I don’t.”
“Good-bye.”
“Bye.”
Though she may have the interest in knowing what’s bothering me, she doesn’t have the time to hear me out, and in her final trimester with all sorts of other unfortunate demands on her …. she doesn’t need me dumping my issues on her ….. I’ll be telling her the scoop in a few weeks anyways ….. she doesn’t need to know the emotional turmoil I’ve been in at various stages, it just imposes on her.
What I need is someone to talk to ….
And I really don’t have anyone in the way I need ….
But my viewers here !! 🙂
Lucky you, huh? Suffer through buckeroos !!! I’ll be back to normal swoon ….. in the meantime …. I suspect you’re going to hear of some really weird krap going on in my mind !! 🙂 Not to mention interesting stuff too ….. stuff thought about in a completely, open and honest way ….. no pretenses …. so stay tuned !
Oh ….. be careful out on the streets …. it’s dangerous out there …. no thanks to me !!! 🙂
Hmmm….I can’t cry either. Sad. Sometimes I’m so sad, I wish I could cry and am frustrated as “H”-“E”-“double hockey sticks” that I can’t. Weird.
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Hmmmm, I don’t think I’ve had a Clark Kent moment yet, but really every change associated with the modification of my hormone system has felt so completely right and natural, even including the ability to now cry. 🙂 (Which is so not embarassing to me now in the least !! lol Wild.)
hmmm…
“poisoned” ???
have you had, yet,
what i call “clark kent” moments?
in the second superman movie,
he’s human, now,
and actually sees and tastes his own blood…
something will happen that
never affected you
before,
and you will be dumbfounded by it,
and even scared,
because you can’t just jump over it,
or hit it,
like you used to–
you have to stay there and face it and feel it…
Thank you 🙂
You’re right …. my hormonally female system certainly reacts differently that my previous …. and there’s no doubt, I’m so much more emotional now … but I’m getting the hang of actually feeling …. and using that ability …. it’s wild …. I love it. Was one of the things that I factored in …. when making my decision ….. my brain loves estrogen !! lol
well, you know where to find me…
although you may find out how those rumours about my sanity began…
oh, yeah,
part of your current problem could be estrogen permeating your brain–
profound and subtle changes in perceptions,
and changes in how you deal with things…
the good news is,
once you fully recognize how much you’ve changed,
it’s much less depressing…