Catfish at Bob Evan’s

Zoinks !!! Where the heck have I been ?? Barely posting anything, simply unacceptable !! :0

I’ve actually been busy …. got a nice new criminal case …. selling out my personal beliefs and morals once again for the almighty dollar ….. well, that almighty dollar earned is going straight to Dr. O …. hope he uses it to at least get a cool new car of something …..

And I’ve been doing a fair amount of writing by my standards ….. I’m quickly approaching another disclosure cycle ….. and I’m trying to get some writings, thoughts, and links here to give family, friends and enemies at least some access to information about me, transsexualism and my decision …..

Of course, I haven’t posted any of those yet, in fact, they are all in draft mode, I’ll probably backdate too so they won’t show up on the front page …. but I’ll make reference here on the front page ….. so you’ll be able to find them if you’re the least bit interested ….

I’m so sick of still playing boy-mode ….. and I’ve noticed something …. when in boy-mode ….. I’m either withdrawing from social, business settings in even a more pronounced way than I have in the past or I’m even more sarcastic that I is my natural tendency ….. very curious to me ….. almost as if I’m trying, in a subconscious way (hey, if I’m acknowledging it, can it really be subconscious??) ….. to get people to dislike the boy-me ….. maybe I am, maybe not. Hard to say ….. personally, I don’t think I ever want people me to dislike me ….. I want them to like me ….. but me is me ….. and you know what that means 🙂 …… not some role I play …. so maybe I have a bit of contempt for the role …. whatever.

My brother and his family couldn’t make our traditional Sunday brunch with my parents, so I met just my parents at Bob Evans for a late breakfast, early lunch ….. and we talked about a lot of things ….. my dad’s health for example ….. but we also started talking, in code, about my decision and what I’m going to do …… my parents really are great …… my dad asked if I had made my decision …… I said no, because my dad could still talk me out of it, but reiterated that I’m deciding before my birthday and that we need to talk …. mom said Bob Evans was not the place to talk about it ….. and I promptly agreed ….. I had no intention of talking about it at there …. but in true spirit and support ….. both said …. “Any time, any day ….. we’re home every night” …. and we continued talking about things that could be impacted by the decision ….. it was definitely an interesting place to start broaching the topic again ….. and I have the feeling my parents are keenly now aware of my plans to transition ….. but it’s time to face the issue ….. it’s beginning. Sometimes, you have to take the risk.

Anyways ….. so I decided to order …. lunch instead of breakfast at Bob Evans …. and went with a piece of catfish, green beans and side salad ….. what the heck is wrong with me ….. who in their right mind orders catfish at Bob Evan’s !!!! LOL I’m just too weird sometimes.

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3 Comments

  1. if it’s any consolation,
    i shifted from dad to mom;
    on the other hand,
    it’s something of a convenience/blessing
    that most of my relatives, friends and acquaintances
    did not last through transition…

  2. LOL OMG ….. I never thought of the whole “catfish” angle before ….. I’m soooo disturbed !!! lol

    Well, one of the hardest things I’m finding with transition is letting go of the role I played for so long ….. though the last 3 months …. I’ve made major progress.

  3. not even i will venture into the freudian implications of catfish…

    ok, i’m of the school that you should
    always be yourself,
    but it’s not easy in boy mode,
    because people are expecting
    you to act like what they see…

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