You Are What You Drink

Diva sent me the following. (Just for the record, being on a chica’s goofy e-mail forward list is so much kewler than being on a guy’s porn e-mail forward list.)

Now for the curious,

The drinking habits of The UnUsual Suspects are as follows:

Singer, Hottie and I drink Coors Light almost all the time.
Sister and Miss Daisy drink Bud Light almost all the time.
Sometimes MD will drink vodka and Sister will have a mixed drink.
On occasion, we’ve all been known to do shots of tequila, vodka and Red Bull mixes, or Jager Bombs.
We also do jello shots every now and then.
The only time we drink wine is when we are out of beer or at a dinner.
And it’s never White Zinfandel.
Usually about 3/4’s of the way into the evening we start consuming h2o along with the beverages.

New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks.

Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. If she’s interested, she’ll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk… and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required – everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum —-

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn’t give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He’s gay.