Add Some Pause
When I transitioned,
My first name and last name were both changed.
And acclimating to my new first name took some time:
Seemed like it took me forever to stop turning in response upon hearing my Version 1.0 name being called out to someone else;
And it felt as if it took just as long to get me to respond to my Version 2.0 name if I had even the slightest of Coors Light buzzes.
Though with the passage of time,
My new first name has become second nature,
And my old one foreign.
But now,
I have noticed something sorta, kinda, what-I-think is weird about me and my relationship with my new last name.
Seems like whenever someone asks me if I’m related to someone with my new last name, I say …
“No” way too quickly.
Krazy quickly.
Borderline rude.
Kinda snappish.
I swear, a couple of times I didn’t even wait for them to finish identifying of whom they are asking before I offered a curt …
“No, I’m not.”
Granted, I suppose a little impatience is understandable, since I do know the answer:
I’m just not related to anyone with my new last name regardless of whether they are from East Town, West Side, North Shore, South Bama,
Or anywhere else.
But though understandable, I certainly don’t think even a little impatience is appropriate,
Since the question is asked with friendly interest.
And as I do like conversing with pholks,
It doesn’t make much sense that I would suddenly develop an impatience issue because of this simple query.
Likewise,
I don’t think my impatience with such a question has anything to do with having to create a surname past on the fly,
As I’m usually pretty good about feigning whatever needs to be feigned when responding to questions of Amy-History.
Instead,
I think my impatience with the question is because when the answer to such a question is always “No“,
One never gets the opportunity to enjoy a comfort feel of family identity when you are able to say,
Claim,
That someone is your grandfather, grandmother, dad, mom, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin,
Etc.
So I think the unexpected impatience I display in such a situation is that I am reacting to the question in the same manner as I do to the slight discomfort to removing a super adhesive bandage,
Just rip if off quickly to get it over.
I can be such a tool at times.
Anyways,
Now that I have created a reasonably acceptable rationalization, at least to me, for my unexpected impatience,
I will henceforth add some pause,
And exhibit thoughtful recollection,
As I contemplate whether or not I am related to whomever such an inquiry is about.
Oh, for those wondering …
Wait
Ponder
Reflect
“No, I’m not.“
Hi!
Thinking of you.
Steve
Hi Steve !!! I’ve been following your adventures on FB ! Great to hear from you ! Hope all is well !
Did yiu chage your last name???? married??? At least i saw it in 2012 and yes i am late but aren’t i always late??? its been a bad year write me and i will fill you in ok? i am home reovering from spinal surgery …. take care hugs Jenny
Hey chica ! Me? Married? No, most guys usually find my snark moving from the endearing to annoying category by the third date.
I’ll give you a shout later today/tomorrow. Hope your recovery is going well !!!
First in April!
I see you’ve been busy once again Amy. Although I love the clean new site look, why the change? It’s not all that different from your previous layout, only flipped side to side.
You’re always keeping us guessing!
Post some more please. We love your light “take” on the world at large. I think we’d all like of hear of your daily happenings – at least once a year or so!
Hi Meg ! Yeah, the new “look” doesn’t look much different. I do tend to like and stick with the minimalist feel. The new look is “responsive” though, so it looks pretty much the same whether you are viewing it from a smart phone, tablet or computer, but renders and scales slightly differently depending on the actual screen size. I’m not sure I like it though yet, I haven’t completely bonded with it, so I might change the furniture around again ! 🙂
Awww, thanks !!! Visit again later this week and you’ll see a few more posts. i’m inspired ! 🙂
good to see you live and well …. hope the courts are nice to you.
Hey Other Amy !!! Great to hear from you ! The Courts have been fine, just the same ol’, same ol’ ! 🙂 Hope things are great with you !
Amy! Imagine my happiness at scraping my memory banks, remembering your blog address, typing it and seeing a recent post! Instantly brought me back many years to the good ole’ days. I hope this finds you doing fabulously well. It’s so nice to know you’re still out there, doing your thing. 🙂
Hey Trisha !!! Thanks so much for saying ‘hi’ ! Great to hear from you !!! Hope everything is super, awesome on your end ! Just doing the same ‘ol thing here ! Krazy how time flies, isn’t it ? Be Peachy !!!
Hi Heidi !
I grew up in another part of the States than where I’ve spent my adult life, so I have used the being from another part of the world answer before, similar to yours. You are right, It does work nicely ! 🙂
Thanks for saying ‘hi’ !
Amy
What a lovely post 🙂 I was lucky in that my former first name was extremely unusual so I very rarely hear it used in conversation; there’s a guy on the radio that i used to share it with though. Similarly to Meg, I went with a family name for my surname. My mom’s maiden name to be specific. It’s funny though because more people ask your question of me with the new name than they ever did with the old. My response is uniformly similar to yours. It helps though that I wasn’t born in this country. Maybe your 2.0 could have been born in Canada or something?
I’m glad you found time to write this. I always enjoyed your writing style.
Take care ok?
Heidi.
Now that you mention it Meg, part of my issue may be that my Version 1.0 surname was fairly unique, I am pretty much related to everyone with that surname. While my Version 2.0 surname is fairly common and it’s extremely unlikely I’m related to anyone with that surname. I guess I went from one extreme to the other, which may be why I have noticed it so much.
It did take some time to flush my brain cache ! 🙂 I still smile inside when I find myself responding to someone mentioning my Version 2.0 first name in a totally unrelated conversation.
Amy,
Interesting post. When I considered my own changed last name, I feel somewhat fortunate that it was chosen with other family in mind. It’s a name that exists within the family and not too distant. I don’t think it’s ever caused anyone any unease, thankfully. But if someone does ask the relative question, I can make an honest appraisal and – probably – say No.
Getting used to new names *is* hard.
Meg
First!!!!!